image

Self-love and self-esteem

Behaviors towards self-love and self-esteem:

The most important step of self-love is: Self-image.

Self-image

Self-esteem is based on self-image. Self-image has to do with how I see myself. Through whose eyes do I evaluate myself when I look at myself? It could be someone who, at this time or in the past, has been an authority for me, such as my childhood friend, my father, my mother, a grandmother, a husband or a wife. It is very useful to ask yourself: With whose eyes do I rely when I look at myself? Whose approval do I need to feel safe and fulfilled?

What did the people in authority in my life say to me when I was a child, a teenager, or even now, as an adult? Go through the judgments you have received and try to write them down: did they call you restless, stupid, reckless? Or maybe: artist, athlete, painter, fat, intelligent, or simply short.

The human being is individual and social.
We build ourselves from within, with inner work, but we validate ourselves through the eyes of others.

That other, with his evaluation, validates us because no one can see themselves. Sometimes, it is the gaze of a parent, an aunt or a teacher. Ideally, it would be the gaze of your myself, from your wise inner self, who validates you and gives you the inner strength to be and dare to decide in your daily life.

Validation comes from those we choose, consciously or unconsciously. It is the most important opinion for us.

When others validate us, we don't think they are evaluating our behavior, but our being.

You run fast, but the person tells you: You are a great runner. So, you can't lose, and you push yourself to the limit on the track to win and thus have self-esteem, because your self-image is at stake.

Every time you compete in a race, you do it for your identity. You don't see the other person evaluating your ability to run fast, but rather defining your being by telling you: You are a winning runner. This vision puts your definition of self into play. And if you don't win, you lose self-esteem because, in the eyes of your validator, you are no longer the winning runner.

We are not “we”; we are beings in the process of transformation. That is why no one can define us.

When people evaluate us, what they are telling us is how we are behaving, not how we are.

This gaze and evaluation of others turns us into things, into an object of achievement and not into a person.

What others say I am becomes a cage.

If you want to delve deeper into this topic, I invite you to read the book by Personal Reengineering already take the retreat of Iron Man Of Life.

Thank you for reading me.
DrRoch