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What is the relationship like during confinement?

We are witnessing an extraordinary experience at the individual, social, family and couple level due to the pandemic produced by COVID-19 and the measure imposed by the government and the Ministry of Health that we remain confined at home for a long time.There are many consequences arising from this confinement and the couple relationships They are being affected on many levels in just a few days of “lockdown.”

We are faced with many days of great individual responsibility and having to deal with discomfort that can vary from day to day. There are numerous Couples who are coexisting during this quarantine due to the coronavirus and they wonder how to take care of their relationship in this context that no one anticipated. We mostly come from spending only hours a day together, each investing most of their hours in their chores and some time of the day in the relationship, now, in an unchosen way, we have to be confined together for 24 hours.

GUIDELINES FOR DEALING WITH COEXISTENCE AS A COUPLE DURING THIS QUARANTINE DUE TO COVID-19

  1. A first point that seems important to us, if there is space, is that everyone can have a corner at home for himself, where you can retreat when you need to and be able to work and carry out your activities there. If you don't have much space, it might be important to take turns using the common space.
  2. Another key is that each member of the couple tries to bring into the house as much as possible of what they had outside (work, studies, exercise, projects in general...).
  3. Just like we did before, find moments to be together, we don't necessarily have to spend the whole day together. And preserve our individual privacy.
  4. Sharing the tasks from home in a balanced way so that neither of them feels indebted or overexerted.
  5. On an emotional level It can be complex. After many days or even soon, disagreements and differences in the relationship may appear. It will be inevitable and fighting to prevent them from appearing is an unattainable requirement and ideal. We have to Assuming that these differences will appear, the important thing is how we are going to handle them.

We start from the basis that Your partner is not responsible for your discomfort, first we have to accept that this is the situation of home confinement that we are experiencing and that is beyond our control.Use anon-violent language It can help us avoid hurt, speaking in the first person about how we feel and what we think: Examples: "When you don't pick up the task that you've been assigned, I feel overwhelmed" "When you don't listen to me, I feel neglected" It is essential not to entrench ourselves in our vision as if it were an absolute truth. In a couple we are faced with two subjectivities in interrelation and each member of the couple has their own story and their own way of seeing the world, so it is important not to impose our own or try to be right, but to reach agreements and negotiate a lot.

More advice for couples during the coronavirus lockdown

  1. Being able to be “support”: In these moments of isolation, our worst parts and symptoms are coming to the surface and, in addition, they can vary throughout the day. In moments of fear, anguish, control, sadness... being able to count on your partner as support In addition to self-support that we have developed and be able to be available to the other when required.
  2. Can talk to other people, like family, friendships can nourish us a lot and relieve the pressure cookers, releasing the escape valve.
  3. Organize some activity together at home At the end of the day: sharing a series, a conversation, dancing together, playing… This is open to the creativity of each couple.

WHAT CAN WE GET FROM THIS HOME CONFINEMENT SITUATION? It is well known that crises are times of great growth if they are experienced with this intention, without forgetting how sad this situation is at the health level for a large part of the population. We can grow a lot together.It can be an enriching experience for couples, where they can further build intimacy, trust, reinforce commitment, mutual support in difficult times and even be able to work on separation, individuation within the couple and in the same space, something that many couples find difficult, enjoying their individual intimacy while living together.

This is not the time for judgment and demands., are moments for accepting oneself and the other and through love and tenderness taking care of ourselves to emerge victorious enough from this situation as a couple, to realizing the strength of the bond created.Each couple has its own specificity and it is important to take care of it with individual and common responsibility. We hope that these guidelines to better cope, psychologically home confinement help you cope with and nurture your relationship during confinement.

We as a psychological center continue to accompany online all those people who need it and we believe, not only in this specific situation, that Psychological support always helps to prevent a relationship from becoming saturated and filled with discomfort..As a final point, we remind you at the individual and couple level that it is essential in this life be filled with various things, that this situation so particular that we are living don't take up everything, do not take up our entire daily life.“We are not responsible for what we feel, but we are responsible for what we do with what we feel”