Why do we lose the spark?
Time, routine, lack of joint activities, the wear and tear of having children... There are many reasons why a couple can start to feel like they are losing their spark, however, there are not always external reasons behind this lack of 'desire' to be together.
Have we lost the spark?
Looking inward and accepting the changes in the personalities of the partners helps to 're-fall in love' again and again. There are so-called 'mirror' situations in which we can see a problem reflected. Don't think about yourself... What would you think?
1-. I don't feel like talking to my partner. I avoid him/her. He/she bores me and it's always 'all problems'.
2-. I accepted that raise, not for the money, but so I wouldn't have to go home so soon.
3-. It's been a long time since we've had intimacy, or looked each other in the eyes. I feel like I could be more interested in anyone than my partner.
4-. The weekend comes and I get overwhelmed. On Monday I feel relieved.
5-. I only worry about my children, I don't see my husband and I don't know when he'll come. I give him his space, I don't care.
If you heard your friend/family member tell you this, you would be scared… Right? And wouldn’t it be worth thinking about it a bit if this were your case?
“You have to be okay with yourself, calm down, get rid of feelings of guilt, be able to regain your emotional independence and lose the fear of being alone with yourself. You have to want to be with him/her, but not need to be with him/her. You have to lose the fear of losing him/her.”
Why do we lose the spark?
Each spouse must be happy. If we lose individual happiness, it is impossible to achieve collective happiness.
In short… before blaming routine, your partner, or lack of time, think about one thing… Are you happy? What is stopping you from being happy? If you could draw a picture of yourself, what would it be?
In fact, there are many people who not only do not try to avoid routine, but rather encourage it, so this quarantine is the perfect time to rethink many of the things you do... Is it necessary for you to spend so much time away from home? Couldn't you leave certain tasks for another time? Don't blame stress or routine for something that you may be encouraging yourself. Love yourself and your loved ones!
