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The 5 things that cause the most boredom in marriage

When your marriage ends, or your relationship is not going well, it is normal to think that much of the responsibility for the end of that love is due to the typical circumstances, infidelity, money or abuse of some kind. We are far from imagining that love was diminished by the effect of anything else.

But what other circumstances could end a couple's love?

In fact, marriages often end because of absurd behavior. Perhaps for this reason, when divorce is reached, acquaintances question whether it is the right decision. They cannot find a "real reason" for reaching that point; the issue is that they did not live through what that person had to face and it became unbearable for them to tolerate.

Yes, there are indeed behaviors that are believed to be harmless for a relationship; but in reality they are very damaging to love and marital stability. These behaviors are:

1.- Be accommodating in intimacy.

Do you want to kill your relationship in one fell swoop? Start acting mechanically. It's like you're a robot programmed to do certain activities that your partner wants, but that you don't care about or that don't inspire any interest in; you only do them to keep him or her "happy."

Intimate encounters are special because not only is it one of many ways to express love, but participation must be mutual for it to generate interest; otherwise, they are meaningless and gradually kill the passion.

If you begin to notice that this is taking over your relationship, talk honestly about what is happening and seek professional help so that routine and complacency do not destroy your love.

2.-Reject intimate encounters.

It goes hand in hand with the above, but it can get worse. There are women who, as a form of "punishment" for an argument that is not very relevant, refuse intimate encounters.

It is natural that fatigue and some health problems cause one of the partners to not want to have intimate encounters for 1 or 2 days. But the situation changes when the rejections are repeated. This will lead the rejected partner to suspect infidelity or whatever else explains the reason for the refusal.

Both partners should talk openly about what is causing the intimate situation to be so dull. Finding a medical problem, low libido or whatever can lead to solving the problem and rekindling the sexual interest of the couple.

3.- Ignore your partner.

It hurts when people pretend you're invisible. It usually happens when they're upset with you, and they want to teach you a lesson. And why don't they just talk about what's bothering them, rather than just passing by pretending they're just another piece of furniture?

This can also happen when someone is deliberately replaced by a cell phone, social media or friends. Your partner should be a priority above all else; ultimately, they will be the only one left when the children have left home, so there is no reason to neglect them so much.

There's no harm in going out once a week, chatting or going to the movies like when you were dating; this will really give you that extra boost you need so much.

4.- Not appreciating your partner or what he or she does for you.

This is terrible because your partner is not even obliged to do things for you. But the situation is even worse when the one you don't value is him or her.

It may be that years of living together make routine take over everything. This leads you to assume that your spouse does not need you to tell him or her how you feel about him or her, because - according to you - he or she knows. But even if he or she knows, he or she needs a hug, a kiss, a "thank you, darling"; that is, to show him or her that you know that he or she makes sacrifices, that you love him or her despite the years and the problems.

By gradually putting into practice expressing affection again and being grateful for what he does for you, you will bring warmth back to your romantic relationship.

5.- Do not respond to messages or calls.

Well, this aspect has a happy medium that both parties must assume:

1 Do not overuse text messages, chat or calls.

2 Ignore all messages and calls.

The first behavior bores and exhausts even the most loving and patient spouse, and the second makes the most trusting person in the world paranoid.

There is a happy medium for everything, one or two messages to ask or express necessary things can and should be answered politely. But you cannot expect to send a total of 10 messages in a one-hour outing or a morning of work, and expect them all to be answered. It is not normal and borders on exaggerated.

6.- Being very demanding or dependent.

I know people who are not able to go shopping alone because their partner has to go with them because they are either afraid or do not know what to buy. Depending on your partner for everything, even to hammer a nail, exhausts the most kind human being morally, physically and emotionally.

And sometimes it's not that the person doesn't know how or doesn't feel capable of doing it, but that they want to have their partner always by their side, to the point that they become incapable of doing the simplest thing possible. This ends love faster than economic problems.

As you can see, it doesn't take abuse or deception to end love. All it takes is a little neglect, excessive demands for attention or rejection, for your relationship to end faster than you could have imagined. Don't let that happen!

When it comes to marriage, sometimes the wisest thing a couple can do is to be honest about their relationship.