Living as a couple or being alone?
The human paradox: we need connections, but not just any connections
From birth, our biological and emotional design demands deep connection. It's not a whim:
- Babies They don't survive on food alone; they need contact, looks, and skin.
- Studies with monkeys (Harlow, 1958) and human orphans confirm it: without affection, development is fractured.
We live in a world designed for two:
- Restaurants, bank loans, and even insurance favor couples.
- Society intuits what science confirms: bonds sustain us.
The largest study of happiness makes it clear
Harvard research (95 years and counting) revealed:
✅ The #1 predictor of well-being It's not the money, but the quality of relationships.
❌ Success without ties = lonely old age and bitterness.
✅ Financial difficulties + strong emotional networks = lasting fullness.
But beware: a bad partner is worse than loneliness.
- Living with someone toxic (controlling, cold or demanding) generates more stress than loneliness.
- Being single ≠ being alone: True friends, family, or community can fill that space.
- Many couples live in heartbreaking loneliness. (“together, but disconnected”).
The answer is not “outside,” but within you.
The balance is internal:
- If your partner elevates, respects and adds, it's a gift.
- If the link subtracts, limits or empties, loneliness will be your ally.
The key is not marital status, but the state of mind:
- Cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself.
- Choose relationships that nourish, not drain.
Invitation
If this topic resonates with you, join us Naked Relationships, my annual 3-day retreat where we explore:
- How to build authentic links.
- The difference between depend and choose to the other.
📌 Leave me in the commentsHave you ever experienced the paradox of “feeling lonely in a relationship”? I'm reading.
— Dr. Roch
