image

Seven Types of False Friends and How to Recognize Them

Fake friends are like the dark side of the moon. At first, they dazzle us with their charm and kind attentions, but little by little they reveal a desolate and emotionally sterile side that can deeply affect our lives. Identifying these personalities as soon as possible is essential to protect our mental health.

Friendship is said to be one of the best ingredients in life. Just like love, a good friend can positively impact our existence, often even more than romantic or family ties. True friendship is based on trust, mutual support, and shared experiences. However, not everyone we consider a friend is actually a friend.

Today I want to talk to you about the Seven main characteristics of false friends so that you learn to recognize them and handle them wisely.

1. The social climber

This type of friend builds relationships with a clear goal: to ascend the social or professional ladder.
We find them in meetings, workshops, parties, weddings, at university or at work. They approach influential people, manipulate situations and sometimes humiliate others to get ahead. Their actions are guided by self-interest disguised as friendship.

2. The lover of calm weather

These are friends who are present only in times of joy and prosperity. They love to participate in parties or fun activities, but when you go through a difficult time, they disappear without a trace.

3. The critical deceiver

In a true friendship, we feel safe and supported. However, this type of false friend uses your mistakes and failures as material to judge or make fun of you.
After spending time with them, instead of feeling good, you end up with a negative emotional burden. Their constant criticism creates stress, but their attention can hook you, making it difficult to push them away.

4. The envious friend

Comments like:

  • “You are always lucky.”
  • “Everything turns out perfect for you.”

They are common in this type of friend. Deep down, their envy is fueled by low self-esteem, and although they should be supportive, their words and actions reflect frustration towards your achievements.

5. The one who doesn't want to see you succeed

This friend seems to encourage you when you face challenges, but the moment you succeed, he or she distances himself or shows discomfort.
Their discomfort comes from comparing themselves to you, feeling that your successes diminish their own worth.

6. The rival disguised as a friend

This type of friend is always competing with you. If you buy something, they will try to get something better. If you sign up for a class or a gym, they will do the same, trying to beat your achievements.
Their goal is not to share with you, but to show that they are better at everything you do.

7. The manipulator

This friend uses tactics such as emotional blackmail, deception, or false displays of sacrifice to control your actions and decisions.
Many times, this relationship can last for years, making it difficult to break. However, allowing this dynamic can be destructive in the long run.

What to do with fake friends?

Recognizing them is the first step. But this doesn't mean you should immediately break all ties. In some cases, it may be enough to:

  • Speak clearly.
  • Set healthy boundaries.
  • Help the other person's personal growth and self-esteem to build a healthier relationship.

However, if the bond becomes toxic and negatively affects your life, it is important to take more drastic measures to protect your well-being.

If you want to delve deeper into this topic and learn how to manage your relationships effectively, I invite you to participate in our three-day retreat, Naked RelationshipsYou can't miss it.

Thank you for reading me,
Dr. Roch