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Living as a couple or being alone?

The human paradox: we need connections, but not just any connections

From birth, our biological and emotional design demands deep connection. It's not a whim:

  • Babies They don't survive on food alone; they need contact, looks, and skin.
  • Studies with monkeys (Harlow, 1958) and human orphans confirm it: without affection, development is fractured.

We live in a world designed for two:

  • Restaurants, bank loans, and even insurance favor couples.
  • Society intuits what science confirms: bonds sustain us.

The largest study of happiness makes it clear

Harvard research (95 years and counting) revealed:
✅ The #1 predictor of well-being It's not the money, but the quality of relationships.
❌ Success without ties = lonely old age and bitterness.
✅ Financial difficulties + strong emotional networks = lasting fullness.

But beware: a bad partner is worse than loneliness.

  • Living with someone toxic (controlling, cold or demanding) generates more stress than loneliness.
  • Being single ≠ being alone: True friends, family, or community can fill that space.
  • Many couples live in heartbreaking loneliness. (“together, but disconnected”).

The answer is not “outside,” but within you.

The balance is internal:

  • If your partner elevates, respects and adds, it's a gift.
  • If the link subtracts, limits or empties, loneliness will be your ally.

The key is not marital status, but the state of mind:

  1. Cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself.
  2. Choose relationships that nourish, not drain.

Invitation

If this topic resonates with you, join us Naked Relationships, my annual 3-day retreat where we explore:

  • How to build authentic links.
  • The difference between depend and choose to the other.

📌 Leave me in the commentsHave you ever experienced the paradox of “feeling lonely in a relationship”? I'm reading.

— Dr. Roch