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Today, I will talk about the 7 harsh, cold, and undeniable truths you realize when you turn 40.

You no longer worry about trivialities.

It’s unsettling to evaluate your past life with the wisdom you have when you’re over 40.

The fact is, during these years, people shed a lot of emotional baggage that was hindering and weighing them down.

If you analyze, you will discover that it is because you have learned to live with these seven harsh lessons.

Let’s start with the first one:

First Harsh Truth:

You can’t do it all

When you say yes to something, you say no to something else. The day has exactly 24 hours for every human being.

If you have an appointment, you don’t go to the gym. If you watch Netflix, you don’t study or read the book you want to finish. If you go to the bar, you don’t visit your parents. You have to choose.

And it also applies to serious things.

You can’t waste time wandering if you are going all out with a goal.

I love writing my books, but if I want to write new chapters, I can’t spend my time trying to win dance contests on TikTok.

With all the clarity of analysis… I can’t.

I have to focus on my main mission to have the chance to add value to what I do.

The lesson behind this truth is: choose your battles wisely, choose where you put your attention, decide what you want to do with your time, and don’t lose focus on what is important in your life. Remember that it is temporary. It goes faster than you think.

Second Harsh Truth:

You can’t change someone if they don’t want to change

I no longer argue. I leave.

I have discovered that most people before 40 have spent most of their adult life:

Arguing with everyone, trying to improve the lives of their parents and friends, telling them: “Do this and that. Strive and you’ll see how well it goes.” As if we knew. Besides, we’ve done it voluntarily in almost all cases, and no one asked us.

That’s not how it works.

That’s why I prefer to write and conduct three-day retreats and give the Mastery of Yourself. The people who come to me do so with a desire to improve and by their own decision. And that makes them listen to me.

Moreover, most of the time, people don’t want to hear your point of view and contrast information to make better decisions: they want to win the argument. Their lying mind always wants to win. To be right. It’s all rhetoric. And that makes you waste time and energy.

Hidden lesson: Don’t lose your mind trying to change anyone’s life. Invest your time in your own life and let your life testimony make others want your help.

Third Harsh Truth:

Hanging out with interesting people is better than hanging out with interested people.

There comes a point when you don’t let beauty cloud your judgment when letting someone into your life.

You know that beauty is fleeting. And that it is much better to surround yourself with intelligent, fun, and loyal people, instead of attractive people who are empty inside or have hidden agendas.

You’ve been through that. You know how those stories end.

You want people who contribute and enrich your life, not those who drain and burden you.

Hidden lesson: It’s much better to have a life partner than a bed partner.

Fourth Harsh Truth:

No one wins without losing.

Elon Musk lost a lot of money with rocket launches until he made SpaceX an efficient technology company.

Thomas Edison failed more than a thousand times until he created the light bulb.

Walt Disney declared bankruptcy many times.

The history of humanity is full of failures.

But also of people who refused to give up. And that’s why we’ve progressed so much in such a short time as a species.

This year, realize that your perseverance makes you progress. And that you want to keep moving forward. That takes you a little further away from your own incompetence every day and makes you more useful to others.

Hidden lesson: if you persist, you resist. And if you fight, winning is just a matter of time.

Fifth Harsh Truth:

Pretending to be someone you’re not is a mistake.

What’s the point of being someone you’re not?

Suppose you don’t like me; good for you. I am unique, and my uniqueness makes some people love me and others hate me.

And I don’t care.

Pretending won’t get you to the top. Being authentic and partnering with people with your inclinations and interests will.

Hidden lesson:

In the game of life, the best players partner with the best players. Read it again.

Sixth Harsh Truth:

Routine is freedom

I am a nerd of human behavior and self-improvement, and I am not ashamed to admit it.

I do everything from my Timo and I do it because it works. Simple. It fills me with energy and amazes me how my students and I achieve miraculous results.

A long time ago, someone said: “A sailor without a course is a sailor who drowns when the storm comes and gets tired of rowing.”

You have to have a clear guide, a reading of the raw reality and that is done with the Timo (being inner wise). Otherwise, you will keep navigating in theoretical circles of the lying mind, in the sea of uncertainty. Because the theory of the mind is not the raw reality of the Timo.

Also, when you have the reading of your reality, you know that the creator speaks in it and guides you.

It’s like rowing and steering the rudder of your life to the course that gives you evidence of results in your life.

You won’t reach the port without that structure that the reading of the raw reality where God speaks gives you.

Hidden lesson: writing your raw reality and reading what life asks of you in it is the best plan to know where to put your time and money.

Seventh Harsh Truth:

The best revenge is a good life.

The age of 40 is not just any number. It’s the age when you connect the dots and things start to fall into place for you. You finally see how things work.

And you realize that carrying the weight of hatred and resentment is ineffective. That it’s better to evolve, have a good life, and smile. Plus, it’s the best revenge.

You probably haven’t thought about it, but when a person is mean and miserable and tries to mess up your life, what happens when you leave their side is that they REMAIN THE SAME.

Wild people are damaged because they remain themselves when you leave their life. So they want you to hold a grudge: so you won’t forget them.

That’s how things work; that’s how we connect the dots and make new synapses in lobes where you didn’t have those connections.

Hidden lesson: when your enemies see you happy and prosperous, they realize that they couldn’t even remain in your memories, and that quietly bothers them.

Extra bonus:

Learning is the true success.

Success is the byproduct of sharing value. And I hope I have achieved that with this article.

Thanks for reading.

Dr. Roch

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